Press Release: Discovery of the Snackyon

Breaking news from Pennswald Labs, where history is made tomorrow by creating the future yesterday.

Our team of dedicated researchers has discovered the elementary particle of fast food. Dubbed the "snackyon", this particle always travels faster than light (but slower than heavy). This property of the snackyon accounts for several observed results in its interactions with human body tissues:

• A snackyon is absorbed so quickly that it adds mass to several areas of the body simultaneously. This results in disproportionate weight gain in comparison to the actual number of snackyons consumed.
• The snackyon's quick absorption rate increases the appetite for more snackyons. Snackyons leave the digestive tract so quickly that the body's normal satitation mechanisms aren't triggered.
• The snackyon can actually be absorbed by the body prior to the consumption of snackyon-laden foods. Simply looking at (or smelling) snackyon-laden foods may result in weight gain. (c.f. I. Asimov, "The Endochronic Properties of Resublimated Thiotimoline", 1948.) 

In summary, the snackyon is the particle that makes fast food fast.